Decidedly p****d off today! The weather is awful - wet, windy and gloomy so I thought a smile might be in order.....
Little Billy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Billy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you just anything you want. So, why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."
After his resulting temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down with a pen and paper and started to write his letter to Jesus.
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Now, Billy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a pretentious little brat!), so he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
I've been an OK boy this year and would really appreciate a new bicycle.
Well, Billy knew that this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.
I've thought about being a good boy this year so can I have a bicycle?
Well, Billy looked deep down in his heart, which was actually what his mother really wanted him to do. He knew he had been a little s**t and basically deserved nothing. He crumpled up the letter and threw it in the rubbish bin with all the others and went running outside.
He wandered around aimlessly for some time, depressed because he realised that he treated his parents really badly and that he needed to consider his actions.
He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Billy went inside and knelt down. He looked all around and realised that he didn't really know what to do.
Suddenly, an idea began to form in his head. He got up and started towards the door. As he was passing all the statues, he suddenly grabbed a small one and ran full speed out of the door. He ran all the way home without stopping or looking back and went straight up to his bedroom. The statue was hidden under his bed, and he grabbed the pen and paper again and started to write.....
I've got your mother!
If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.
YOU KNOW WHO!
Hope I haven't offended anyone!!!!!
The English Party
1 hour ago